I guess we really didn't learn anything from Pinocchio
I remember growing up with my parents teaching me that lying is bad. And after Pinocchio, we all know what could happen if you told a lie. So lying's bad, right? At least that's what I thought when I was a kid. I guess things change as you get older, and times change too, and suddenly, lying becomes ok. Not only is it ok to lie, it's ok to make money off of lying! Hey, it's a capitalistic society, so if there are people willing to pay money to hire liars to cover their own lying asses, why not make a business out of it?
I came across the site
Alibi Network on the Washington Post Express newspaper and thought it was a joke at first. I mean, your lie would have to be pretty elaborate if you actually needed professional "alibis". So I visit the site, and IT'S NO JOKE!!!!!! The idea is so wrong but yet I find the site completely amusing, and I admire whoever came up with this business idea. Their list of services include:
- Create an impression that you have a full or part-time job with your own work phone number, email, business cards, and secretary
- Create an appearance that you are in a certain location whereas you might really be somewhere else
- receive an authentic looking invitation to an event so you can get away
- Call in sick service
- Rent a phone number to give to significant other as if the number is a golf-club or hotel phone number
- Make purchases and take care of dinner and hotel bills on your behalf so they won't be traced to you
- Invent, create and provide alibis and excuses for attached adults in discreet relationships
They might as well rename their business to "How Not to Get Caught" or "Perfecting the Art of Shadiness". I don't know about you, but I find some of these "services" pretty appalling. Isn't it enough that men (and a much smaller percentage of women :oP) are pigs to begin with? Now there are sites to teach men how to become even BIGGER pigs AND not to get caught in the process????? What has this society come to? Are some of these services even legal? What if someone committed a murder and needed an alibi? Where do you draw the line? Has our society really come to this, where our lives revolve around lies and deception? Did no one learn anything from Pinocchio???????
"Just because I'm ugly, doesn't mean I'm attracted to ugly"
That's one of the funniest, and by far the best quote, I've heard in a LONG time. It came from this week's episode of
Nip/Tuck, one of my favorite TV shows. For some reason, I've always liked twisted disturbing dramas, and
Nip/Tuck definitely has some of the most twisted plots, ever. For those of you who've never heard of the show before, long story short, the show is basically about these two high profile plastic surgeons in Miami, and there's always a different case in each episode. So this week, this ugly chick comes to see one of the doctors, Christian, asking him to make her not ugly. Christian suggests that she try online dating and other alternatives because she'll find her match, in which she responds, "just because I'm ugly, doesn't mean I'm attracted to ugly". I found that statement very amusing, somewhat funny, and sadly, true. I'm sure everyone's seen cases of a not-so-attractive person with super high standards of wanting to find a supermodel match. This shows that even ugly people are superficial when it comes to judging others, which is totally ironic and hypocritical. Media has implanted into our feeble minds what constitutes as beautiful or attractive , so much that beauty really has become only skin deep. Soon our entire society will look more and more like Barbie and Ken, whereas their kids will look like adopted kids..... just because you change your appearance doesn't mean you change your genes.... scary thought, huh?
BUT, on another completely different but related note..... back to
Nip/Tuck......
Christian, who is a major play boy, had just gotten stood up at the alter by his porn star fiancee, Kimber, so needless to say, he's going through some major emotional issues. He tells his ugly patient that ugly people are often the best lovers and later invites her over to his place after he performs major liposuction on her. Ugly chick (will refer to as UC from now on) obviously is THRILLED, and shows up at his place expecting a romantic dinner or whatnot. Instead, Christian tells her to go to his room because he did some shopping. UC goes to his bedroom all excited only find a paper bag on his bed. UC looks questioningly at Christian and asks, "I thought you said you went shopping? All I see is a paper bag." Christian then replies, "I did, I went grocery shopping, and I like to recycle, so I'd like to put this paper bag to use." or something along those lines. He proceeds to tell UC in a cool, but cold and heartless manner that if she wanted to have sex with him, she had to put the paper bag over her head so that he wouldn't have to see her ugly face. :oO How messed up is THAT?!?!?!? It's SO cruel and mean and ruthless and....... FUNNY!!!!!!!! I couldn't stop laughing! And the disturbing thing is, UC did exactly what he told her to do!!!!!! She later comes back for more, admitting that she thinks she's a masochist because she got pleasure from the humiliation of wearing a bag over her head during their session........ hmmmmmm.....
So how does this tie to the whole ugly doesn't attract ugly thing? Well, the moral of this story is..... for a woman, she can be ugly and STILL score a hot guy because guys are pigs, think with the wrong head, and have only one thing on their mind. BUT, that same ugly woman might have to subject herself to humiliation and degradation if she wants to fulfill her double standard of scoring a match that's completely out of her league. Does the reverse apply? Can an ugly man score a completely hot chick? Sure, if he's loaded! So, in the end, we're all just using each other for something or another.... IT'S ALL A GAME! ;oP
